what is "it?"

what are we chasing? we fly through our days hoping to finally lay our hands on that last intangible, that moment of arrival, when we have finally attained "it." is "this" all there is? "it" cannot be love, for we pass up the opportunity in a seemingly endless progression all day long. we cannot want to become lovers, for that would mean that we would have to stop and smell the roses, stop and seek to put someone ahead of ourselves. "it" cannot be acceptance, for we refuse to accept even ourselves. we cannot bear the thought of people knowing who we actually are. to let down the masks of achievement, beauty and indifference. "it" cannot be understanding, for we do not really care to understand. almost as if that would mean that we should then be forced to care and take a stand about what is. "it" cannot be wonder. for wonder necessitates that we recognize that we are nothing compared to all that is and control is nothing but an idea we use to cheat ourselves out of contentment. what are we chasing then? what is "it" that is always there, always beckoning us forward, onward, higher?